There is no proper etiquette for friends after divorce.

When couples divorce, do they split their friends? Do they split them up like property? My friends versus his friends. The idea seems a little ridiculous to some, but for others it’s serious business.

First of all, people/friends are not property. You can’t decide who your friends want to be friends with after you divorce.

Secondly, having your friends choose sides is not only selfish and territorial, but is manipulative and paranoid. If it’s a true friendship, no one should have to make a choice. Divorce is the end of a phase in everyone’s life. Not just yours. Everyone, including your friends are going through a transition.

Thirdly, your friends are human and life changes. What you have in common with one friend may change over the years and you may not stay in contact, but then again after many years your path may cross again. Let things happen naturally.

One of the best strategies for friends after divorce is to remain friends and contact with those you feel connected to. Don’t try to persuade friends to choose or have negative feelings towards those friends that stay connected with your ex.

If everyone stays at a high level of integrity, then there are no worries about gossiping or the time and energy to discuss your past marital status or issues. Moving on to the next phase of your friendships and relationships is important. Of course, time does heal all things if you let it.